Friday 1 May 2015

The Dubai High Life

Time to destination: 6 minutes, and yet staring out of the window I could see nothing but desert; endless stretches of sand in every direction. It's not until we're seconds from landing that we appear to cross a line of civilisation and we're suddenly immersed in a city.  

It was 4am UK time when we landed in Dubai so despite being smacked in the face with thirty degree sunshine the moment we stepped off the plane, our first port of call was bed. Luckily our friend Jess picked us up from the airport and whisked us straight to her beautiful apartment in Business Bay where we slept for five hours and woke up feeling considerably more human.

However, even as we came around from our dreamy, delirious state, something about Dubai still didn’t feel quite real. The grass was too green, the streets too spotless, the cars too fast and the sky high buildings unnaturally tall. At eighteen floors up, we weren’t even averaging mid-level! I didn’t instantly fall in love with the place but I was certainly intrigued and very much looking forward to the next few days with the girls.

After catching a couple of hours of sunshine by the pool, we got ourselves ready and jumped in a taxi to Blue Marlin Beach Club. The club was so busy and the queue so big that we couldn’t even get close to the entrance in the car. As we climbed out and started walking, I was seriously doubting our chances of getting in at all but Jess promised us that it wouldn’t be a problem. True to her word, she marched past the crowds and we were ushered straight in. It turns out that being blonde, British and working in a popular nightclub makes you second only to the Sheikhs in Dubai. 

Jess and her entourage are treated like royalty wherever they go and we were more than happy to join them for the weekend.Our table at Blue Marlin was buried under ice buckets filled with all kinds of drinks and a gigantic 3L bottle of Belvedere which was so heavy, it could only be served by hoisting it over our waiter’s shoulder. It was complete madness, but the real madness was down below on the dancefloor so once we’d each had a few drinks, we ditched VIP and went and joined the masses. The club’s mostly outside so there’s a real summer vibe and we danced the hours away until our feet hurt too much to go on.

Our return taxi was an interesting one; it seemed our driver was struggling to find Dubai let alone our apartment, simply claiming ‘I’m not from around here’ (as if we were...) I found it a little baffling that a city which has successfully installed penguins into a desert climate and the world’s biggest structures into a 4,000 square kilometre space, has not yet installed satnavs into their taxis. Anyway, ater coming close to being abandoned on the freeway we eventually made it home.
The following morning, we woke up surprisingly chirpy and went straight to Eden Beach Club for brunch. It’s a beautiful setting and the sun was out in full force so when we weren’t lounging on the beds, picking at sushi or sipping on cocktails, we pretty much spent all day in the pool. Eden is owned by the same company as the club that Jess works at so once again we were served all day without spending a penny, something I found myself quickly getting used to.

That evening Jess and Susan had to work but let us tag along. Crystal is one of Dubai’s best nights on a Saturday and this was no exception. We had a table bang in the centre of the dancefloor with a perfect view of the DJ booth which just so happened to be occupied by Craig David! All jokes aside his set was awesome; old school RnB and Hip Hop with every song sparking a memory from our own school days and our first tastes of the clubbing scene. We left when the lights came on.

Our own lights, however, didn’t come back on for a very long time. It was 3pm before we left the house on Sunday and we completely missed our booking at Cove Beach but keen not to waste the day entirely, we headed to the Madinat Souks to wander around the market. It was probably the closest we came to culture all weekend but even so, it still didn’t feel particularly genuine. Though the shops sell traditional Arabic lamps and trinkets, it’s all very geared towards tourism and the super-air conditioned mall sucks out any air of authenticity.

Realising we’d not eaten for 24 hours, we grabbed a late lunch by the man-made canal overlooking the iconic Burj Al Arab. On our way home, we insisted we stop at the mall to see the legendary fountains dancing on the hour. I’d been told about them beforehand but nevertheless, I was taken aback by how awesome they were. The first performance was to an Arabic tune which was completely mesmerising and the second, Michael Jackson’s Thriller. Each was initiated with hundreds of tiny lights twinkling beneath the surface of the water and minutes later the jets were set off, each one a dancer in its own right demanding the attention of the surrounding crowds. The standard of the choreography was quite astounding and I wished we could’ve stayed to see more.
Tearing ourselves away, we raced home to get ready for dinner; a thirty course meal at Em Sheriff, once again completely free of charge. I genuinely thought there must have been a mistranslation but the food just did not stop. As well as a whole lot of wine, we were served tasters, cold appetisers, hot appetisers, starters, grills, mains, meats, desserts – in total, thirty dishes! 

Perhaps most people select just a handful of dishes and leave the rest but they all looked so exotic and interesting that we had to try at least a mouthful of each. We had everything from pepper and pomegranate hummus, to spicy chicken liver, to shoelace pastry filled with syrup, nuts and cheese. I wish I had a copy of the menu, though I doubt my chances at recreating any of it. 

Three hours later and two party members down, we rolled out the restaurant and headed to a club. However, we were still so full when we arrived that we found it virtually impossible to dance. Fortunately, The Act is famous for its on-stage performances so I could just sit and sip (very slowly) on drinks, occasionally swaying in time to the music. A few hours later, I called it a day and waddled home. 

Our final day crept up on us and conscious that we still hadn’t made it to Cove Beach, we did our best to ignore our hangovers and food comas and woke up early. For the first time in four days, I had to get my purse out as this beach club is brand new and hasn’t yet established relationships with Jess’s company. One glance at the price lists and I suddenly realised why everyone thinks Dubai is so expensive – when it’s not free, it’s extortionate! Nevertheless, we were more than happy to fork out this once and wanted to treat Jess as a thank you for sorting us out all weekend.

Another first was finding something truly authentic – the sea! Admittedly it was so perfectly clear that it seemed too good to be true but this sparkling water couldn’t possibly be man-made. It was untouched and exceptionally beautiful.

When we’d had enough sun, we called the group we’d been out with the previous night and met them at the harbour for an afternoon yacht party. Sprawled out on the deck, we sailed through the Persian Gulf, docking an hour or so later in a nearby bay. We’d barely poured our first round of drinks when a guy appeared on a jetski and offered everyone a free ride. I never worked out whether anyone actually knew him but he later abandoned his jetski, initiated a dance-off and proposed to half the girls on board.

Watching the sunset from the boat was pretty epic and even in our vodka-induced state, I could still appreciate the wonder of our setting. The sky high giants which lined the coast glittered in the darkness casting light onto the rippling water. Nobody wanted to leave but a complementary dinner at Cavalli was calling and we had to head back.

The combination of delicious steak, red wine and pink-lit chandeliers did well to distract us from the sadness of this being our last supper. I’d been determined not to over-eat this time but the food was so great that I was soon regretting my body-con dress choice. 

We did, however, all make it to the club this time which was conveniently right next door to Cavalli. Cirque le Soir is very similar to its sister club in London and equally as eccentric. Candyfloss and popcorn were a necessity upon entry and our table backed onto a small stage which was occupied by all sorts of fire-eaters, contortionists and midgets throughout the evening. As we continued to drink, it only got weirder and my last memory is of Yas drawing out a hopscotch through the dancefloor.

I absolutely loved every minute in Dubai but the more time I spent there, the more I realised I needed to get out. It would be all too easy to be drawn in by the lavish lifestyle but after four days of worrying of nothing but which Instagram filter to use, I started to yearn for more of a purpose.

The city is fabulous but it has no history, no story and no real identity. To me, it feels as though a spoilt child has travelled the world, plucked their favourite parts from each country and slung them into one place to create Dubai; white sand from the Caribbean, ski slopes from Switzerland, skyscrapers from New York, hotels from Vegas, nightclubs from Ibiza, and the list goes on. Whilst in some ways this makes it the best place on earth, the lack of synergy or sense of belonging leaves for me, in the long-term, a little to be desired.




















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