Loco La Paz

I instantly fell in love with La Paz. The hills surrounding the city are completely covered with red brick buildings which from the ground level look like hundreds of tiny blocks of lego stacked on top of one another to create a colourful little toy town. By night these hills transform, with each small block being replaced by a bright light glowing through the darkness like an abstract reflection of the stars above. 

Behind these hills stand the grander mountains, so high that their peaks are smothered in snow. We planned to climb one, Huyana Potosi, but first had to spend three days in La Paz to acclimatise to the crazy altitude. This wasn't a problem though as there's plenty to do in the city and we began by joining a free walking tour with two local Bolivians to suss out where would be best to spend our time. 

The tour was brilliant and we learnt so much about La Paz' loco history. It started out at San Pedro prison which is a low security establishment bang in the centre of town. They use the term 'low security' loosely here, for in fact the gates are guarded by just a couple of officers and on the inside the prison is run by the inmates themselves. However, there's little concern for prisoners escaping for most are better off in San Pedro where they live in fancy apartments and have an abundance of customers to support their cocaine business. 

Next we visited the Rodriguez food market which is essentially the locals' open air supermarket. Each stall is run by a cholita, a Bolivian woman in traditional dress. Here, our guide confirmed our suspicions that a Bolivian cholita is not one to be messed with. They're renowned for their strong builds and stronger brains which they use to whip their men and children into shape. 

 Also explained here was the interesting history behind their signature clothing of puffy skirts and top hats which don't actually fit on their heads. The layered skirts make the ladies look larger to imply they have good, child bearing hips and they help keep their legs warm during early mornings on the markets. The hats, on the other hand, serve a much less practical purpose; merely a fashion accessory introduced to the cholitas when the Europeans invaded in the sixteenth century. Though they were initially of course brought over for the men, they were soon sold to the women once the European designers realised they'd underestimated the size of a Bolivian male's head, having wrongly assumed they'd be smaller because they're short. In fact, the average Bolivian has a much larger head and so even on women, these hats were too small. Nevertheless, they made it work by telling the ladies this was how they're worn in Europe and the fashion has stuck ever since. What's even more amazing about these hats is that they now speak a language of their own; a straight up hat signifies a woman is married or taken, whilst one worn on a tilt tells a man that she's single! Cholitas will pay up to thousands of dollars for the best top hats and between them, they're saving the businesses which have long gone bust in Europe where they originated. 

 La Paz is full of amazing markets and the next on our list was the Witch's Market, thus named for all the weird and wonderful concoctions sold at the stalls there. You can find a potion for every purpose, from 'follow me' dust to attract new partners, to 'repel me' powder to rid yourself of unwanted attention (though trying to export this out the country is not advised, for fear that it would be too easily confused with South America's other, more popular powder.) 

Such a phenomenon could reasonably be assumed to be a tourist trap but in fact, the Witch's Market long pre-existed tourism and Bolivians genuinely believe in the magic of these medicines. The llama foetuses available at the market remain one of the best selling items because the locals use them as offerings to their Goddess Pachamama, burying them beneath the foundations of new buildings for good luck. To our horror, our guides explained that for larger constructions, a more significant sacrifice is usually required; humans! The most common victims are the homeless people of La Paz because they're the least likely to be looked for. For this sacrificial ceremony, a construction team would be hired to take the unknowing victim for a few drinks, wait for them to pass out and then bury them deep beneath the concrete before they wake up. Though there's little evidence that such practises still exist, we were still warned against accepting free drinks from any locals. It might take a while for anyone to come looking for us too! 

A little disturbed, we moved onto San Francisco Square where the grand Catholic cathedral stands. Similar to in Peru, the religious faith of most Bolivians is a little complicated. Whilst in many ways they remain true to their ancient beliefs, they've been heavily influenced by the Christianity imposed on them during the Spanish invasion. When the Europeans first arrived they used all sorts of tactics to trick the Bolivians into converting. For example, Bolivians believed that when they were frightened, their souls left them and escaped to heaven and in order to retrieve them, they had to call them back with a traditional arm signal. When the Spaniards saw them waving to the heavens they identified an opportunity and installed mirrors into the alter of the Church; 'You poor, confused people! Your souls are not in heaven; they're here in the Church! Come and look for yourselves!' When the Bolivians set eyes on their reflections in the mirrors they were convinced, but still not converted. 'Can we take them? Can we take back our souls?' they asked. 'No, I'm afraid they are trapped here but what you can do is come and visit them so you can reconnect with your souls whenever you wish.' From then on, the natives were attending a daily mass at the Catholic cathedral. 

The final piece of history we heard that day was the long line of bad presidents the country has suffered. There was a time when coming into political power just meant getting rid of the current president which inevitably ended up with someone being thrown from a balcony or hung in the square. Even the current president who the majority of Bolivians actually approve of has made some monumental errors. For example, he announced on National television that in order to solve their problem of underpopulation, he'd ban the production of condoms and introduce a tax to all women over the age of eighteen who didn't have any children. Fortunately, he quickly felt the wrath of the cholitas rising and apologised a few days later, abolishing the idea completely. However, with such ludicrous laws being passed around it's little wonder that the locals love to riot so much. It's unbelievable, but that's Bolivia! 

We covered a lot of the city during the tour but we didn't have time to stop and shop so we spent the whole of the following day rinsing the markets. It's been so long since we've felt we can spend any money on ourselves and with so many beautiful trinkets to take home as presents, we ended up buying the whole of Bolivia and then returning the next day to do exactly the same.